Hello WordPress! I have been crafting. But also hiding in my room and not talking to anyone because depression and sensory overload. Anyway, get ready for some crafting posts.
First up, let’s go back to Halloween. Not crafts so much as food.
This is not food. This is me in a squid hat.
EXCITING NEWS: I have an appointment with an Autism diagnosis person! This Thursday! (Which makes two appointments this week, but. Oh well.)
So. It’s National Coming Out Day today.
Coming out is such a strange concept. I mean, when I was a kid, I thought it was something you do once–because that’s how a lot of media talks about it. But that’s not true. As a kid I experienced it not being true, I just assumed I was doing it wrong, or something.
I think I was about ten when I figured out I wasn’t straight. I told a couple of my friends. Most of them were okay with it. One of them told me she was the same, and the two of us did that weird “dating” thing that 10 year olds do when they aren’t really old enough to date, like, at all. I think we mainly just held hands in class, really.
I spent the next couple years trying to come out to various groups of people. I never really figured out how–it always felt awkward. And I always thought there should have been some way to come out to everyone at once, and have it stick. But of course, there wasn’t. As it turns out, even if that was possible, it wouldn’t really have worked. I would still have had to come out again, and again, again–just maybe not every day. Identity changes as you grow, as you learn, as you expand your understanding of labels and of people and of yourself. My identity now, and my understanding of that identity, is not the same as it was two years ago, five years ago, ten years ago. And in fact, my understanding now is a lot less firm, and in some ways a lot less confident, then it was when I was ten.
So I’m thinking I might try to do a weekly post here. Not like a formal thing or anything, just doing a post every Sunday to go over the previous week and the coming week. Sort of an extension of something I’ve started doing on Habit. Having the set of goals for the week and then a daily to do list has been really helpful for routine and anxiety so far, I think.
Just got home from the con. Came home a day earlier than planned, because I missed my kitten and panels finished earlier than expected this afternoon. Met one of my mom’s old friends, which was really nice, and I made some good contacts. My panel went pretty well, too. It was super tiny and it was only me and one other guy on the panel, but it made for a good first panel, I think. And it was pretty much first thing on Saturday, so that was good.
I watched Doctor Who.
Did I mention that I really love Missy?
Like, so much. So, so, so much.
I have a ridiculous amount to get done this week in a very short amount of time. If I was going to go to schul tomorrow it would be even less time, but I’m not going to because I just do not have the spoons. Maybe tomorrow night…are there services tomorrow night? But I’ll probably be too wiped out anyway.
So, on Thursday I leave for Eeriecon. Still don’t have a panel list, so I don’t know for sure whether I’ll be any panels or not. But that means I have until Wednesday night to do my Coursera work (44 items this week), as well as making progress/possibly finishing the first draft of my werecreature story, going clothes shopping, getting a flu shot, and picking up a wheelchair.
Fibro is in a major flare up, so I’m glad we’re renting a wheelchair for the con. Otherwise I’d probably be completely screwed as far as work the week after.
Right now my main concern is getting the werecreature story done before family stuff gets any worse. But for tonight I’m just going to get some course work done, do some drawing, and go to bed.